After few weeks of never ending crying as i felt that i failed with my life and i even felt that there's no god at all as why all this things happened to me, im pregnant, no job, and the father of the baby left us without any words. It's not really easy to accept the fact. And that soon i will become a single mother to my baby. I'm scared and feel so sorry for i can't give my baby a family of our own.
Though after all those days nor weeks of crying, one night i felt movements of my baby in my tummy, its like the baby's telling me that "hey im still here and stop crying coz i feel weak too and i want to live" it hit me in my head as i felt like there's a cold water poured down through my head telling me that im so selfish without realizing that im pregnant and my depression might going to affect the baby and im not going to let that happened. I used to wished for a baby before and now that im going to be a mother soon then whether i like it or not, i need to face the truth now.
When the baby keep on moving inside it makes me feel so different, thats the time that i give smile and i felt so relieved, looks like my baby was also trying to tell me that everything will going to be fine. I felt an angel inside of me and it makes me think that its time for me to wake up and move on.
Since i can't find any job in my situation, im trying to find ways looking for online money making site so at least i can earn to support my pregnancy specially my birthing cost, i still have my savings and my parents also extend their promise to help me, i want to be responsible and a loving mother to my baby.
I just hope that god will going to take care of me and my baby and that everything will going to be fine someday. Though i still hope that my hubby nor ex hubby will come back even not for me but just for our baby sake so the baby will grow up with a real father. Though right now, I just want my baby to be healthy and for me, that's all what matter.
(Click image for better view)