The saddest day of my life

My hubby and i were both happy when we found out im pregnant, i thought that will be the start of a new life for me. Actually were not living together coz he was married before and have two daughters but i never had the chance to visit their house and meet his kids as he used to tell me before that he didn't bring anyone to his house coz he doesn't want his daughters to see him bringing any girls as it might have a big impact to their mind. And that  in due time he will going to bring that girl and introduce her to them.

I actually respect him for that, but when he found out that im pregnant he made plan of transferring a new place once i give birth, planning of buying stuff for me and for our upcoming baby though he didn't mention that i will going to live with him together with his kids though as far as i  know he will just going to visit me. In short, looks like im one of those other woman who can never owned the man they loved.

I just felt bad about it and become so depressed specially when he seldom show up in my apartment. I was thinking that maybe there's really something going on, I was thinking that maybe theres another girl.

Last February, we had a big fight due to my ex, as my ex tried to win me back since he didnt know my condition yet,  he knows him and he knows how much i loved him,  then he started to accused  me that maybe the baby is not from him but from my ex.
I was very disappointed that time and was very angry, as he  knows that my ex was not here and that his been in London for many years so how come the baby is from him. He took all of his things and go home in the middle of the  night while i left crying. He came back maybe because he feel so guilty but i pushed him out, i was so mad that time and i can't control myself that for all people i never expected him to accused me of having an affair with my ex and that his not the father of my baby. I felt so insulted, and i even told him how i wish it was my ex whose the father of my baby coz i know he can take care of us and give us a good life.

I was so emotional that time but he never leave, but when he saw that im already fine and about to sleep he still left me.

Since then i never heard from him again, i tried to call and texted  him though he replied telling me he will come and i waited but he didnt show up. He promised many times but he never come till one time when i called him his no longer answering his phone. I tried to called everyday non stop but i just heard a ring then it turned off. I texted him but he never replied. its been 2 months now and his still not answering his phone. I become so depressed and even lost my job. I already lost my hope.

Now my family knows that im pregnant, though i told them i cant contact the father of my baby, i felt so bad coz i feel like i failed my family, after all this years. They never ask why coz they know i need moral support now than to blame  me.

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