Up close and Personal: Whats in my thought...

Earlier I was busy moving out my things to my sister’s house with the help of my brother since I will be living there starting tomorrow. Though I was not able to sleep last night, I don’t know why, maybe because I was thinking that I will going to leave my place now after so many years of being independent and now since I lost my job yet im pregnant and im the one who burden all the expenses its better this way as I need money to support my pregnancy specially my monthly prenatal checkup.

If I was able to have a prenatal checkup to one of the exclusive hospital here and high end OB-Gyne before, now I have no choice but to transfer to a public hospital to save cost. Funny isn’t it! I was thinking that what matter is I can still buy my prenatal vitamins to support my baby while still inside of me. Besides there’s nothing wrong with public hospital even though my siblings don’t like my idea due to different treatment of doctors unlike in private hospital, you will really feel that your special, of course because I am paying them unlike in public hospital its for free.

I wish that my mother will going to come soon, as she promised to come by June so I can have a shoulder to cry on and who can comfort me as my siblings are too busy with their work and I have no one to talk with, luckily there’s internet for at least I can use my time here being busy reading and browsing articles.

I still can’t avoid being sad at night thinking why this things happened to me now though I only wish to have a happy and peaceful family of my own. But I know I cant hold someone’s heart nor decision, though the saddest part is that the guy did not even bother to tell me why he need to go as he was just gone without any words. I don’t know if im going to hate him or not or I will be the one to blame, though whatever I’ve done, I don’t think its enough for him to leave us, his so selfish to think of leaving me as he knows that I need him more now.

Tomorrow I will be staying with my sister and I don’t know of up to when, maybe up to the time that I already find job to support me and my baby though I know its not going to be easy. I just wish to have a lot of income to support us. I know GOD is watching me and he knows exactly what I need. I just wish to wake up one day and that everything is already fine

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3 comments:

josieApril 15, 2010 at 1:51 AM
Have faith and everything will turn out right. Take care!
KristelApril 16, 2010 at 6:08 PM
i am so sorry to hear that news. i feel for you. i know advices will not really help you, but god will. just keep your faith up!
AngelApril 20, 2010 at 5:45 AM
@josie and sweetdonut Thanks for the message, i really appreciated it. Though im still struggling with my depression right now, im happy coz my family are very suportive.